Saying Goodbye
by Neelhtak Eca
Summary: Edward saying goodbye to Bella was the hardest thing he's done, but it was necessary, for her sake. Edward's point of view of saying goodbye to Bella in New Moon, starting from walking into the woods. One Shot.
1. Chapter 1

Ok so this is just Edward's point of view of when he was telling Bella goodbye in New Moon. This is just out of boredom, there's nothing special about it. All the dialogue does not belong to me, I will be using the words from the book, but the inner monologue is what I'm making up. So enjoy.

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I don't want to think about what I am about to do. I've been preparing for this for the past few days. I know she has noticed I have behaving oddly, I can see it in her beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I grabbed her book bad from her like I usually do. I then shoved it back in her car, not something I usually do.

I put on an expressionless face. She cannot see how hard it would for me to do this. She wouldn't believe my words if my face did not match what I was saying.

"Come for a walk with me," I said. She would agree, she wouldn't protest.

I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see what she thought I was about to do. I can see her thoughts through her eyes, but of course I cannot read her mind.

Her heart rate was picking up. She knows something is wrong. She's panicking.

Her heart beat, I will miss hearing it. Every beat, I'm memorizing them, I won't be able to hear them any longer.

I only walked her a few steps into the trees. The house can be seen easily. She won't get lost.

I went to lean against a tree and then I looked at her. I couldn't help but stare at her. This would be the last time I would see her face.

"Okay, let's talk," She sounded brave. She must not know what I am about to do to her. I took a deep breath. I have to do this now. I cannot back out now. It is for her own good. If I wasn't so selfish I would have left earlier. The best I can give her is a clean break.

"Bella, we're leaving." She took a deep breath. She believes she will come with us. I want her to be with me. She can't. She mustn't. Not when I'm a danger to her.

"Why now? Another year—" I had to stop her. I had to explain before she comes up with a false assumption.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." Hopefully she'll believe me. She looked confused. She must have come to a misunderstanding. She stared at me like she was looking for and answer. I just stared back.

"When you say _we_—," She whispered. She understood. I don't want to leave her.

"I mean my family and myself." Stay with me Bella, stay. Leave me Bella, leave. Two different sides of me, fighting each other. If she stays, I would hurt her again. If I leave, my life would be over.

Bella should smile, she should live, she should be happy. But I can't give her that without putting her in danger.

Bella shook her head. I wanted to comfort her. I couldn't do anything but wait till she spoke again.

"Okay. I'll come with you." I wish you could come with me.

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you." Anywhere where I am at is not right for you.

"Where you are is the right place for me." She's so stubborn. Why can she not see what is better for her. Where I am at is where all the danger is at.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." Truly I am not. There's someone out there for her that could give her everything that she needs and want. I can give that to her.

"Don't be ridiculous." She was begging. I want to cave in and tell her that I will stay. I can't. I mustn't. "You're the very best part of my life."

And so are you. My life didn't start until I met you.

"My world is not for you." A human and a vampire cannot exist in one world. She will not become one of us. No matter how much I want her to be by my side for eternity.

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" Her voice was rising. _I'm sorry Bella._

"You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected." I agreed with her because I knew it would have happen eventually. I was stupid enough to think she could live in my world. I wish I could have seen she cannot live side by side with the supernatural when James almost killed her.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—"

"As long as that was best for you." It was never best for her to stay with me.

"_No! _This is about my soul, isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!" I didn't expect that. I didn't know she knew about how I felt about it. I suppose it was when Carlisle was stitching her up when I was comforting Jasper. I had to take a deep breath again. I had to compose myself. I almost lost my façade. I had to look like it didn't faze me. I had to make her let go of me. What if I…What if make it believe that I did not want her. The rest of this conversation would be difficult for me to withstand. I would be lying to her. The most blackest lies.

I looked back up at her.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." She would not believe me. I told her countless times that I loved her, that I could not live without her, that without her life, or existence is meaningless.

Her face showed realization of what I meant to say. She believed me. There was a pause. It was the longest moment of silence I have felt.

"You…don't…want me?" I can't live without you Bella…I love you. You have to let me go…for your own good.

"No." I hate lying to her. I want to tell her I want to stay. I want her to be with me for eternity. She has to stay with me. Yet she cannot stay with me.

She believed me. She honestly believed I don't want her. I can see it in her eyes. _It's for the best Edward. It's for the best. _I kept repeating it to myself. _It's for her._

"Well, that changes things." She was calm. What is she thinking? I suppose I will never figure out that mystery.

I couldn't look her in the eye now. If she seen my eyes she would have figured out I was lying, and it would be harder for her to be convinced that I didn't want her.

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…_tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I wish I was human. I wish I could be human for her. I would give the whole world, no the whole universe, to be human for her…but that would never happen.

I looked back at her. I composed myself to look into her eyes. I had to see her eyes…I won't see them again…ever.

"I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I am sorry that she had to be so close to me, so close to danger for far too long. Every day, so close to death. Her life will not be in danger anymore.

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't do this." I don't want to Bella, I don't.

"You're no good for me, Bella." I'm no good for you, you are too good for me.

"If…that's what you want." I nodded once. I could not speak. It is not what I want. It's what she needs.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much." She had to do this one thing for me, to keep my sanity. She looked so fragile. And I am purposely breaking her.

"Anything," she said. I wanted to tell her to ignore everything I have said. I wanted to tell her to stay with me forever.

She cannot.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" my façade faded. I can't have her doing anything like that. She must remain safe for me. She would ask why I am saying this…I put my mask on.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself—for him." For me.

She nodded and said "I will."

I felt myself relax a bit. As long as she is safe and happy, that is all that matters….as long as she safe and happy…and away from me.

"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me." The last time I'll see you. "I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this gain. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." It's the least I can do for her. I'll get rid of everything that would remind her of me.

I wish I hadn't existed though. I wish I never entered her life and endangered it.

She started shaking. I wish I never met her that way she wouldn't have to be hurt by me.

I smiled. The smile felt forced for me. I hope she didn't notice.

"Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." Forget me Bella, forget me.

"And your memories?" They will never leave me. I would remember every second with you.

"Well," I had to think about this for a moment. I had to come up with a believable lie. "I won't forget. But _my _kind … we're very easily distracted." I smiled again, and again it felt forced.

I took one step away from her. There's nothing else to say to her. I have to leave, and she will let me go.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

She noticed the plural.

"Alice isn't coming back." I shook my head. I kept watching her, seeing she would notice anything else. Alice wanted to say goodbye. I didn't let her.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." The house was empty now. Everyone has been gone for the past few days. The loneliness was horrific. But that's what my existence would be like since Bella won't be a part of it anymore.

"Alice is gone?" Bella didn't want to believe it.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." It is the best I could do for her. I need to make this as easy as possible…for her.

Her breathing was erratic. I had to leave. I had to leave now before I change my mind and stay.

"Goodbye, Bella." I started to leave. She called out to me, she reached for me. I couldn't help myself. I had to go back.

I grabbed her wrists and put them by her side. Bella closed her eyes. I wish she had them opened. I wanted to see her eyes, the only portal to her soul, one last time. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. It only lasted a moment, a very short moment, too short of a moment.

"Take care of yourself." She has too. She has to for me.

I ran off. I couldn't see her. I didn't want to see her. If I did I would return and act like nothing happened.

It dawned on me when I was on her way to her house to fulfill my promise.

It's over.

Love, life, meaning…over.

I had to compose myself. I almost stopped and went back to her. She was so close, I could still smell her.

I wish I could cry. I wish I could tear down the forest. I needed to release what I was feeling and I cannot.

I went to Bella's window. Her window was open; it was left open for me. Charlie was not home. I didn't have to be silent, but I did have to be quick, just in case Bella walked it.

I grabbed everything that would remind her of me; the pictures she took of me, the CD I gave her, the tickets my mother and father gave her. I was about to leave with them but I could not. She had to be left with something of me…but I made a promise.

I looked around. I noticed her wooden floorboard. I lifted up one of the panels and put all her gifts and her photos inside.

"This is childish." I told myself, but I couldn't help it. I can't leave with them.

I was about to leave again but I stopped. If Charlie would have come home early and Bella was still in the woods, he would worry. I didn't want to make things harder for Bella.

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down,

_Going for a walk with Edward, up the path. Back soon, B._

I wrote it in her handwriting perfectly. I went downstairs and put it somewhere Charlie would see it.

I ran back upstairs in Bella's room. I lingered in there for about a minute. I was absorbing her scent for the last time, feeling the fire in my throat for the last time. I sighed.

"I'm sorry Bella…I love you." I jumped out of her window and started running. I ran to my car and pulled out and drove as fast as I could. For the first time my car was not fast enough. I can't escape her. I let out a sob I didn't know I was holding in. Again…I wish I could cry.

Today would be the beginning of the rest of my too long life. Today would be the beginning of a meaningless existence.

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Ok I'm done… It was starting to get hard to write about half way through. Edward leaving was my least favorite part of the whole series. Anyway, tell me if you liked it by reviewing…That would be very generous of you. Haha. If you want to tell me anything just say it. Also tell me if you think I got Edward. I'm not a guy so I can't think like one…and also I'm not Edward so I can't think like him. So tell me if I got him right…if you think I got him right…anyways…I have to work on Setting Sunrise….I wrote this instead though but yeah…I'll get chapter two up sometime…once I get three reviews for that…so yeah….REVIEW!! PLEASE….


	2. Author's note

So someone said I should make another story in Edward's point of view.

I would be happy to make one..

Now I think you guys should tell me what I should write about…

Give me an idea and I would write it

I was thinking of doing:

-Edward's trip to Volterra

-Edward's point of view of the prom scene

-Edward's point of view of the whole Renesmee thing

-Edward's point of view of the wedding

any other ideas is welcomed…if you want say anything please…

I have nothing to do…

Except homework but I'll put chemistry, algebra and Spanish aside ok…so review away to let me figure out another story I should write

Thanks!

Neelhtak


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